She's Here! (from Carrie's point of view)

Today?
My Friday started out much like every morning for the past two weeks - I woke up before 5am, realized I was not having any major symptoms of labor, and then poured my disappointment/nervous energy into cleaning something random around the house.  Friday, it was the trim in the bathroom.  I fortunately had the day off after a long work week, so to keep my mind busy, my parents and I spent the whole day out and about shopping in Bloomington.  It was around 4:45pm when they dropped me back off at home.

My sister, Amy, called around 5:00 to catch up.  Erik had also called to let me know he was just leaving work.  As I was unloading the dishwasher and telling Amy that I wished I had some signs of labor, that I wished I felt worse than I did, I felt a very distinctive, warm gush.

"Either I just peed my pants, or my water just broke!" Amy said she'd call mom and dad and I hung up to try to get a hold of Erik.

I spent the next half hour bouncing around the house, playing phone-tag with Erik, confirming with my parents that they would meet us at the hospital, lining up my bags by the door, re-reading the chapter about water breaking in the pregnancy book, and finishing unloading the dishwasher.  When Erik got home, he quickly loaded the bags into the Jeep and we were off!

And so it begins...
I started having contractions about the time we got to Chenoa.  They started out pretty weak and only lasted about ten seconds each.  By the time we got off the interstate in Normal, they had increased in frequency and intensity, but still weren't very strong.

We arrived at Bromenn around 6:35pm.  Erik dropped me off at the Obstetrics entrance and went to park the car.  I checked in with the security guard and was told to wait for a nurse to come get me. After confirming that my water had indeed broken, and I had not been peeing my pants for over an hour at this point, we were taken to our room, where we met our labor and delivery nurse, Sarah.  She had us complete even more paperwork and went through my entire medical history (because I'm sure it was very important that in the middle of a contraction that I could recall the exact year it was that I broke my finger in 5th grade).

 With all of that out of the way, we were ready to go! My parents had arrived, Erik and my dad had brought in our bags, and I was gowned up.  Sarah checked me - 4 cm and 100% effaced.  She then insisted I start an IV for fluids.  Although I know it is standard procedure, I was a little against getting the IV - it made it difficult to move around a lot and laying down in the hospital bed sounded like the most uncomfortable place to be.

I spent most of the active labor stage sitting on the "birthing" ball (a stability/exercise ball), with my mom on one side and Erik rubbing my back.  I believe it really helped to move things along.  We did this little routine for probably an hour.  I'm not exactly sure when, but Sarah checked me again - only 5 cm dilated.  Ready for a change, and not wanting to be in the bed, I requested to labor in the Jacuzzi tub.  Sarah informed us that that would be okay, but first they would need to monitor the baby for ten minutes (which involved me laying in the bed).  My contractions were coming one after the other with almost no break time in between.  They were short, but very intense.  I relied on my yoga breathing and the relaxation techniques Erik and I had practiced from the Bradley Method to focus during each contraction.  My sweet mother squeezed my hand and kept a cool wash cloth on my forehead the whole time.


I watched the clock, 10 minutes passed, and no nurse.  15 minutes passed, and no nurse.  After about twenty minutes of agonizing contractions, I reached the self-doubt emotional sign-post.  All along, I wanted a natural childbirth, without an epidural or other painkillers, but in that moment, all I could think about was an epidural. Literally, I was picturing a word cloud in my mind that said: "epidural." It sounds silly, but in my mind I tried to make a deal with myself - if I could get through this birth without medication, I would let myself have an epidural when we have another baby someday. I was having trouble maintaining my steady breathing and could tell I needed to push. Like now.  Screw the tub, it didn't even sound good anymore.  (In the end, I'm glad our nurse was MIA right then and there wasn't time for an epidural - not that there is anything wrong with them - I truly don't know how women who have long labors do it!)

Change of Plans?

Proud Daddy and the best labor coach

After 25 minutes of waiting, Sarah finally returned and promptly checked me.  All the pressure I was feeling was for good reason.  There was no time for the tub.  Or an epidural.  It was go time.  The rest gets a little fuzzy for me, it really happened so fast! All of a sudden, there were many more people in the room - bringing in equipment and re-positioning the bed.  I still had Erik on one side, my mom on the other.  All I wanted to do was push.  I was unaware of it at the time, but the reason I couldn't push right away was that we were waiting for the doctor (not my doctor (she was still on vacation), but one of her associates, Dr. Kossler)) to arrive.  Once she arrived, she quickly explained how she wanted me to push and breathe.  As Erik pointed out when we met Dr. Kossler, she talks fast...I'm not sure I could have told you what she said - I just heard "push."  After one set of three pushes I knew it wouldn't take much more, I could just tell our little girl was so close.  I gained a sense of calm while preparing for the next contraction and another set of three pushes.  As soon as I could feel the contraction coming, I screamed for the high heavens (later my mom informed me that my dad could hear me in the waiting room), and pushed as hard as I could.

Grandpa Flott only had time to watch 4 episodes of Modern Family in the waiting room!

Mary, aka Mom aka Grandma aka labor support extraordinaire

Memaw and Papa Golden made it just in time!

She was finally here! At 9:35pm, the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen was placed on my chest. After stitching me up, getting our tiny baby to pink up a bit, and after my mom cut the cord, the medical staff let us be alone with our little miracle.  We just stared at her, not fully comprehending the whirlwind of what had just happened in the last three hours.  Our Elsa Suzanne was here!

Elsa Suzanne Golden

November 1, 2013

6 pounds, 8 ounces - 19.5 inches long